Choose Hope and GPS Your Life

One day as I walked through the office at my school site, I noticed Maria, a parent of one of the students on my caseload. I stopped to say hi and could tell by the look on her face that she was not there by choice. Maria told me she was picking up her son early because he was in trouble. She said, "I don't know what to do with him anymore! I am worried he will get kicked out of school if he keeps this up. I am a single mom and doing my best, but I am so worried I will lose him." 

 Maria had been holding on to these fearful worries for quite some time. I asked Maria this question, "When you think about your son, what are your hopes for his future?" I asked. She stopped for a moment before answering, "I don't know. Nobody has asked me that before." She sat in the chair behind her as if to think about this question for the first time. I asked again, "If everything turned out well, what is the future that you hope for your son?" Maria looked off in the distance as if to dream and answered, "I hope that we will be close and he will know how to be a good man in this world." 

"That is a beautiful picture of you and your son’s future," I replied. Then I asked, "What do you think needs to happen to reach that goal?” Maria paused, then looked right at me and answered. "I think we could both use some help, to be honest. Maybe more time together. Maybe even counseling." She sat quietly and said, "I've been thinking about this and just haven't pulled the trigger. But I want my son to have the best chance at life." As I sat with Maria, I could see her let go of the fear and replace it with renewed hope for a brighter future. 

No matter what changes need to be made in you and your family, hope is the one factor that can make all the difference.

Hope is believing in a brighter future and knowing you can take action to get there. Having hope and being hopeful for others is a skill you can choose to practice.  

Hope is powerful. Hope is more powerful than motivation because it gives a person the belief that they can actually achieve their goals. Moving from being motivated to being hopeful can empower your entire family to accomplish anything they set out to achieve. 

What is the difference between hope and motivation?

Some people think that hope and motivation are the same. But being motivated and being hopeful are two very different things. Have you ever attended a weekend retreat or conference that motivated you? If so, you may have come away feeling inspired, but as the weeks go by, you fail to live up to the expectations you once had. This is often referred to as a mountain top experience. A mountain top experience happens when you feel highly motivated, but the motivation doesn't translate into action. When this happens, you feel deflated. Now make no mistake; motivation is significant. But motivation alone falls flat without the hope that occurs when we believe a brighter future will happen. When your hope begins to grow, so does your action. 

Feeling motivated is a great start. Adding hope will take that motivation and give it wings. How can you make sure you are hopeful? You can build up hope by answering these two questions: 

• When you think about your best future, what does that look like?

• What do you think needs to happen to help you reach that goal?  

Answering these two questions will help you have hope and help you soar into action. Your mind is powerful. As you answer these questions, it will go to work for you. Your mind will begin to show you open doors you never noticed. Then you see your mindset shift from being motivated to being hopeful. You will be filled with hope!

As a solution-focused practitioner, I have learned that goals are the realization of the future you are hoping for.

When we accomplish our goals, we feel successful. Remember that reaching your goals and finding success will differ depending on your situation. Success might be a personal achievement like becoming debt-free or a more focused and calm person. Success also might be something you hope for your child, like that they are reading at grade level or making friends that are uplifting and kind. Whatever success looks like for you, create a clear picture in your mind and visualize it daily. 

Most parents are motivated, but not all parents are hopeful.

If you are a parent who cares about your child's success, you are already motivated. The only question is, what are you motivated by? Are you motivated out of fear or from a place of hope? If you are motivated out of fear, you tell yourself, "What if my child never learns? What if my child fails?" On the other hand, if you are motivated from a place of hope, you are telling yourself, "What do I believe is possible for my child?' When they are successful, what will that make possible for them?"

 A hopeful parent focuses on all the best qualities that their child was born with. They trust that their child's future will be bright despite the obstacles they will face. A hopeful parent knows their child will have the ability and strength to grow from their challenges.

In short, a hopeful parent gives their child the gift of believing in them. 

One thing is for sure, your child will face challenges. The question is, how will you handle those challenges? You can live in fear, or you can rise above the fear and choose hope. Choosing hope means you believe your child will make it through any obstacle. 

Will you commit to being a hopeful parent?

If so, choosing hope will be a choice you continually make throughout your child's life. It will not always be easy because fearful thoughts will want to overtake you. However, the decision to hope is one you will never regret. When you commit to being a hopeful parent, your kids will know you truly have their back. When your child's hope begins to be threatened by the ups and downs of life, it will be you, the hopeful parent, that they come running to. 

What can you do to build more hope in your life?

Simple: GPS your Life. If you have looked up directions on your phone, you are familiar with how helpful the GPS services are in getting where you want to go. In much the same way, you can use a solution-focused approach to GPS your life. I call this the GPS Life system. Let me break it down: 

• G stands for Gather Hopes. Step 1 is to gather all your thoughts without judgment. Ask yourself: What does the future you hope for look like?" and get a clear vision of your best hopes. 

• P stands for Plan with Purpose Step 2 is to go ahead and start planning. With your best hopes in mind, decide what needs to happen to get you closer to your best hopes. 

•  S stands for Soar Towards Your Future. Step 3 is to soar into action in a big way! You will move forward empowered because you have a truly hopeful mindset. 

Maria began to embrace a new hopeful mindset for her and her son.

After our conversation, she began to take action on her newfound goals. She and her son began to have breakfast together each morning. Not long after, they began to go to counseling together. They grew closer, and her son didn't have to leave early from school for bad behavior again.  

Remember, hope is more powerful than motivation because it gives you the belief that you can actually achieve. By choosing hope, you and your family will be empowered. On life's journey, you will face many roadblocks. Against all odds, you will move forward toward success. 

You can find all the solution-focused coaching you need at www.thefocusedmindset.com and listen to The Focused Mindset Podcast weekly. Continue to grow by getting your own GPS Life journal on Amazon By clicking HERE. And for ongoing encouragement and hopeful messages, join The Focused Mindset email community.