Cher Kretz

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Finding Balance with Media: Solution-Focused Steps for Busy Parents

Cher Kretz

Welcome to living in the digital era! Unfortunately, with it comes the challenge of keeping our children from excessive screen time. As busy parents, I know how challenging it can be to shift their attention elsewhere. Summertime can be especially tricky to help kids make the most of their free time. But don't worry; we've got some solutions for you.

It's no secret that children are drawn to gaming and binge-watching short videos. It’s exciting and stimulates their minds. So why not apply the same strategy to something they love? Whether it be dinosaurs, robotics, or volcanoes, invite your child to research the topic and report back to you. You'll be surprised at how quickly they can accomplish this!  Helping your child explore and learn about what they love is just one way to help kids make good use of their time. Their expiration may start on their favorite social media site, but that's not where it will end! That curiosity will lead them to books and activities that get them off their devices.  Looking at your child’s free time with a solution-focused mindset will help you notice opportunities to create balance. 

Eight Steps For Success

To have a summer filled with memories of activities, we need to be proactive. Here are eight steps to help you keep your kids engaged in activities and away from excessive screen time.

  1. Hold a casual family meeting: Discuss how the family can have fun.  As a team, explore activities and get each person’s input and ideas.

  2. Brainstorm together: Encourage your children to brainstorm and come up with a list of activities they would like to do instead of spending too much time with media and video games. Write down their suggestions and value their opinion.

  3. Explore their interests: Take the time to understand your children's interests, talents, and passions. Discuss activities related to their hobbies or talents that they would like to pursue further. This way, they will feel a sense of ownership and excitement about what they do. 

  4. Create a way for a quick fix: For example, make a "fun jar" or activity wheel: Write down all the activities suggested by your children on small pieces of paper and put them in a jar or create an activity wheel. When it's time for alternative activities, let your child randomly select an activity from the jar or spin the wheel to make it feel like a game.

  5. Set achievable goals: Encourage your children to set achievable goals for their activities. Help them break down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. By achieving these goals, they will gain a sense of accomplishment and motivation to continue having fun in new ways.

  6. Provide resources and support: Once your children have chosen activities,, provide them with resources and support. Show your genuine interest in their progress and offer encouragement along the way.

  7. Celebrate achievements: Recognize and celebrate your children's progress in what they are doing. This can be as simple as praising their efforts, displaying their artwork, or attending their performances. Positive reinforcement and acknowledgment can further motivate them to continue exploring.

  8. Reflect and adjust: Regularly check in with your family to make sure they are still having fun! Encourage open communication and allow them to provide feedback. If they get bored, revisit the brainstorming process and make adjustments.

You are not alone

If you are wondering if you can actually pull this off! Recently Jesbeep, a busy parent like yourself, reached out to me with this very concern. Jesdeep askes:

“How can we keep our kids away from screens? What can we do to keep them busy yet make it interesting for them and not have them bored the whole day? I am in favor of giving some screen time rather than them looking at it for the entire day.”

The key is to empower your children by making the process collaborative and allowing them to take ownership of their choices. Each of the 8 steps in this article can help, but the best way to help kids choose another activity is by allowing them to explore what they love. Don't waste time talking about the problem. Instead, help them see the many solutions to this problem.  Nagging or complaining to them is a way you might fall into the trap of focusing on the problem. Making them feel bad for their screen time use is also unhelpful. Instead, use the solution-focused approach to ask them what they want to do instead. You may say. “It looks like you were so bored you spent all your time on your device! What can we do instead tomorrow?” 

 Keep in mind that not all screen time is equal!

Screen time involving learning and expanding skills will replace their gaming time. By actively involving them in decision-making, you are more likely to cultivate their interest and commitment to alternative activities.

Even with your busy schedule, you can take active steps to help your home balance activities and time playing video games or being on social media. Here are some steps YOU can take to help achieve this family goal. 

  • Be a role model: Limit your own media and demonstrate alternative activities that you enjoy, Show enthusiasm for these activities to inspire your kids. 

  • Play with your child during screen time: Be involved in your child's screen time by playing video games with them and exploring new ideas on the internet together. This will show them how to use their time well and have fun with boundaries. 

  • Create a media-free zone: Designate areas of the house as media-free zones, encouraging everybody to spend time together without the distraction of screens.

  • Provide alternative activities: Ensure your children have access to a variety of engaging and age-appropriate activities such as books, art supplies, puzzles, board games, sports equipment, or musical instruments. 

  • Encourage social interactions: Foster opportunities for your children to engage in social interactions and develop interpersonal skills. Encourage playdates, enroll them in community clubs or classes, or organize outings where they can have fun and make friends. 

  • Establish a routine: Create a structured daily routine that includes time for various activities, such as homework, chores, physical exercise, and hobbies. By providing a predictable schedule, children are more likely to develop a balanced lifestyle and reduce reliance on media and video games.

Many fun activities can replace gaming and social media screen time. I chatted with a friend who shared a fantastic family tradition that sparks creativity in a fun way. A few families gather together and create a fun play that teaches a valuable lesson they want to share. They then send out invitations to their friends, who get to enjoy the performance and donate to a chosen charity. This activity has become more exciting each year for all involved and helps them steer clear of mindlessly zoning out on games.

Now, I understand that this may seem like a big commitment. I share it to help spark your own creativity! You can brainstorm with your family and start something that can become a summer tradition that your kids look forward to. Or you could take a small part of this idea and incorporate it into your family's summer plans. By involving your child in the creation of the play or choosing a charity to raise funds for, they can take the lead, and you can encourage and support their efforts. Let's make summer memories that involve creativity and growth rather than endless screen time!

In episode 175 of The Focused Mindset Podcast, I talk about each of the steps and expand on this subject. Feel free to listen in or watch it on YouTube and share it with a busy parent you know. You can be sure that the summer months will fly by and soon become a memory. No matter the season, busy and working parents can effectively steer their children away from excessive media and video game usage. By involving children in the decision-making process and providing opportunities for alternative activities, parents can empower their kids to take ownership of their choices. It may take time for your children to adjust to reduced media usage. Still, with patience, encouragement, and the availability of alternative activities, you can guide them toward a healthier and more balanced lifestyle. 

There are three ways you can learn more about the solution-focused approach and how I train people to use it in everyday life right now.